aching heart

ohhh, how i wish you were here..

how i wish i can hold you everytime when its snowing,

how i wish i can wake you up in the morning, and remind you that there's class today,

how i wish, how i wish..

oh well, life aint fair, dreaming aint gonna bring you any benefit nor satisfaction, so lets move on..

and so, what happened lately huh? hmmmmmm ohya! i passed my bioorganic chemistry finals already, thats worth a celebration man! wheeeeeeeeee! :D finally one pain in my ass is done, and done FOREVER, because i dont have to see that shit anymore EVER! epic LOL! :) :)

BUT, some other subjects will replace bioorg, like histology? omg, thats like the evil twin of anatomy.. *shake heads*

as for today, just came back from this awesome Korean restaurant down town and had some gorgeous korean food, after such a looooooooooooooooooooong time not being able to eat a proper asian lunch. we had bbq meat and korean mixed rice? i guess.. it was good. one word, satisfied *smiless* :)

seriously, i really have to cut down my spendings into half, i have been spending sooooo much this month and i feel so guilty, sorry mum.. :(

and tmr, shopping again! weeeeeeeeee! :)

from Russia, with love

-stillatstake-

you're crazy

you're an asshole

you're dumb

you're stupid

but i love you..

new year. bullshit

dear blog,

and so, 2010 arrives. when i was younger, i used to think new year is something that's really worth celebrating about. it shows that us, mankind @ humans has lived on this world for another year. well, it is a day worth celebrating, but after all, everything else turns back to normal. its not that im splashing cold water or what so ever, this is only to my opinion, to me, this 2010 isn't anything special but just another time passing by, and its passing really fast.

for me, new year means :

- getting older

- making new year resolutions that will never be succeeded, maybe once in a blue moon

- more stress in this effing medical school

- entering another phase in life, which sucks big time because maturing is NEVER my thing

- and more stress..

sigh...

eff the emo talk, moving on..

when i come to think of it, this is the 4th year that i never spend new year or christmas at home. 4 years, since i was 15. ohmygesus. i owe my family soooooooo much man, not to mention the amount of pressure i placed on my mum and dad for letting them worrying about me when im overseas. i promise, next year, i hope, no no screw that, i WILL celebrate christmas and new year with them, please Jesus, help me out on this..

2010 wasn't a pleasant start for me to be honest. things was not going as smooth as i thought. but, it was ok, at least it was memorable. all i can say is, hell i wish that i can move every single one of you from Malaysia to Russia..

i know you're reading this mum, i can see that smile on your face, dad you too :)

from Russia, with love

-stillatstake-

i miss you,

and when i say it,

i really do mean,

i miss you..

but Santa ditched me and flew to see you :(

dear blog,

FINALLY, i have the time to update you. my roommates are sleeping and its a kinda gloomy Russian Sunday morning, so no more excuses to not fill you up with my latest happenings. :)

before i start, a HUGE 'MERRY CHRISTMAS SHOUTOUT!' to all who is reading this, new year is just around the corner so might just as well give a 'HAPPY NEW YEAR SHOUTOUT!' to y'll. i hope u got what u wanted from Santa and wished u had an awesome-licious Christmas this year. :D

so, about me, well, as usual, almost got murdered by exams. u know whats the best part is, there are STILL more to come.. i know, epic -__________- right?

well, again i say, doing medic ain't that easy. i chose this path, i am ready for the consequences.

enough about exams and misery, moving o to the fun part. yesterday night was truly AWESOME! :D the seniors had a christmas party for the juniors a.k.a first years a.k.a rookies and i was part of it. the attire of the night was 'formal'. so i thought, why don't mess around with traditional rules a bit. instead of choosing a formal attire, i picked this stripped hoody long sleeve shirt and paired it with a pair of jeans. and i even asked my friend to put eyeliner for me so that i looked gothic. *btw, i really do look different with eyeliner ;p*

but, still, in the end, my friend said that it was too appropriate and asked me to change, so i thought back and forth and ya, i changed. -.-.. i know what u thinking about, its not that i got no balls, just that its a formal function and i wanna leave a good impression for the seniors. so fuck it, i hopped on my shirt and pants and we left.

the venue was unbelievably deserted and upnorth of Moscow. but the building was really cool, it was like a see through building where it was made of glass. ya pretty cool huh? :)

so we ate and chit-chatted and ate and chit-chatted and camwhored and ate... the food was oh-so-AWESOME! it was like sex i swear.

the girls were having cocktail dresses on and the guys, some were having their tuxs on and some shirt and vest, overall, everyone looks good.

the best part is, after the lecturers left the party, *lecturers were invited as well*, it really turned into a real partayyyy! they opened up the dancefloor and they jammed the house down with awesome christmas dance music. we danced and we flirted and we tried to get numbers but phailed and we dance ....

i just woke up, my stomach is alerting me that it needs fuel so i better go grab something to eat now. more pics will be up in facebook so go check it out.

thats all from me now, ciaozz :)

from Russia, with love.

-stillatstake-

everyone's saying

'all i want for Christmas is you'

got so tired of reading the same sentence

over and over again

but still,

deep inside,

my only Christmas wish,

is You..

dedicatd to my First Love, Italia

well, back to normal now. all the fun and and enjoyment has to come to a halt for the arrivals of the O'Mighty devilish exams. -.-.. just a quick fact, if exams were humans, i would describe them as little Hitlers, who needs no weapons but kills like a pro. literally.

ohya a small THANKS shoutout to the lovely Miss Angie Loong who kindly reminded me and us about the awesome history we had in Italy last year..

we left the nest,

at this very exact date,

for an adventure so great,

that we never saw it coming..

everyone did and i can guarantee enjoyed themselves to the MAX, and it was truly a life-changing experience, for the mind, for the heart, for the soul..

some of us still keep in touch, some lost, unfortunately..

lets talk about my experience. fate brought me and the Gentile family together and they were my loves for 2 months. vividly, i can still smell the aroma of pasta at the doorway and the smile on my host dad's face when he sees us, right after i come back from school with Francesco. vividly, i can still feel the cold and the sunlight pouring into my room on my skin, on a beautiful Sunday morning. vividly, i can still hear my host dad screaming my name from outside :'' Eugenio! venire qui!'' " perche?'' (grumpy tone cause just-woke-up syndrome) ''come here to cut woods!''.. -.-

vividly, i still remember the touch of my host cat's fur on my lap, when she's asleep, and the way she played with me, like no other animal did. vividly, the image of me playing volleyball with the rest of my classmates and the way we laughed so hard after a great match can be heard still, ringing distantly. vividly, the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and excitement still crawls on my skin every time when my mind takes me on a trip back to Rome. the Colosseo, the to-die-for cup of espresso, cappucino, ciocolata calda, to arrays of mouth watering gelatoooosss!.. still gives me goosebumps, and made me crave them even MORE!

sometimes..

when i roam back to that 2 month time, i really wished that, Lady Luck was there with me, so that i can make a 'freeze time' wish and she can grant it for me. throughout my 18 years of life, i can say that this is one of the greatest give from God to me. my love to Italy and to them is endless, and my story in Italy will definitely be passed down to the next generation..

instead of words...

yet, still, pictures are not enough to express..

how much i miss my 2 months, in paradise...

from Russia, with love,

-stillatstake-

You will always, ALWAYS

be my first love..

la manco L'Italia

saro di ritorno presto

ti amo..

bathing 1 month in the Russian air

omg everything is a huge mess now.. last whole week was a total chaos! but it was oh-so-pain-in-my-ass and oh-so-FUN! :D

lets start with the pain-in-the-asses first. well, as was in my previous blog, last week was seriously eff-ed up week for exams. they dominated us students and brought us down to our very knees. 4 exams, 4 effing exams in one week, out of 6 days of classes and lectures. well, in the end, we are still standing firm. it was tough i have to say, and the best part of this is, i didnt fail a single subject! epic-LOL-ness :D! yup definitely proud of myself and all the hardwork did paid off :) BUT, the outcome of all the hardwork : free eye makeup (dark circles) -___-

then to the oh-so-funs. first of all, yesterday was my roomies birthday. so we decided to celebrate it in a club at downtown Moscow. it was a all guys night out and it was seriously unforgettable. in total it was a 13 guys group. we planned this party for over a week already, and 4 clubs were chosen. one effed up thing here in Moscow, or where ever part of the world is, the clubs here, they have something they call the face control. that means there will be security guard standing outside of the club and control the crowd moving in. if there is 'trouble' word plastered over your face, they will not let you in. we all passed the face screening, *thank God*.

and so, the rest of the night was just drinking + dancing + checking out russian chicks = woah! unfortunately, i got a bit tipsy and i got the worst headache ever in my life when i woke up this morning, eh no, afternoon. by the time we got back to our hostel, it was about 7 something in the morning. by the way, a BIG Happy Birthday shoutout to Hari Krishnan! Happy 20th Birthday! ohya, one more thing, walking in the cold bitter winter of about negative 3 degrees with a huge heavy head plus effing-ly sleepy eyes was NOT a wise thing to do. lol :D

the night before clubbing, i had the most epic dinner in my life in Moscow! we had this so called 'family day', where we all cooked together and makan sama-sama.

there is 14 floors in my hostel, i stay at 4th floor, the other ex-lincoln-ers stays at either 13th or 14th floor. so when we all group together, we are one huge family. :) it was totally fun cooking together and eating and laughing and joking at each other's dishes and taking pictures and enjoying and bla bla bla... overall, yesterday night was a.m.a.z.i.n.g and A.W.E.S.O.M.E! i heart heart love love you guys!! :D :D!

actually, coming to russia wasnt really a wrong choice as i would thought before. well, at least i didnt regret a single thing, besides the fact that i have to leave all of my loved loved LOVED ones back home, that hurts. you know who you guys are,and yes i totally miss you! dont have to mention about my lovely parents and of course i miss them to bits! one message from me, i am fine fine fine and i am still... in one piece? LOLsss :D

ohya before i forgot, a HUGE birthday shoutout to my lovely all time favorite girl (besides my mum) --> Yvonne Lin Li En! lets talk a bit of a history between me and her, i have known her since the very first year of my high school time. i still remember there was this period of time where i got a crush on her, form 2 i guess. well, lets not talk about that since she's got my buddy as her bf waiting to slaughter me if i continue to type that embarrassing history out so lets move on.. lol :D and ya, i started getting close to her since after 4th grade and the rest is history. by far, her transformations in looks is the most obvious. she used to be this typical nerd looking girl with flying colour grades, and now, ugly duckling to a swan, she is a beauty with brains, and looking stunning. although not to forget the slight pinch of nerdness and innocence she STILL has after so many years. lol.. and i call her my favorite because she's the only one that i can really talk to and connect with without hesitating on what should i say to her or what-so-ever. i miss her tonnes definite.. ;(

and so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YVONNE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~.. my birthday wish for you is of course for you to be always happy as usual, keep that hyper-ness and happy-go-lucky-ness in you until i get back. and not to forget, stay sweet and appreciate your relationship now as you two took a whole 5 years to find each other, this is the type of relationship that i would really cherish and salute, and to my opinion, you two look oh-so-perfect for each other :)

p /s : by the way, i am waiting for your wedding invitations :p

thats all from me now, adiousssss..

from Russia, with love.

-stillatstake-

if God would grant me ,

to send one, and only one thing,

back home,

i would say :

' i cant because my LOVE is too huge to be parcel-ed up'

and God would say :

'son, there is nothing too small, neither too huge for Me'

and so, He sent it,

..........

.........

.......

.....

...

..

.

have you received it?

a b c d e x a m s i e f f i n g h a t e y o u x y z

exam exam exam exam exam exam exam fuck you! please eff off will ya?

gosh, why do they have to torture us in the most brutal way ever? i know the fact that doing medic is definitely NOT easy, but one thing that i didn't know that it will actually blow people away by their hidden evil and brutality.. -.-

let me break this down for you, for first year medic students, we have to sit for different exams for different subjects EVERY freaking week. like last week, i had 3 exams, and next week, i got 4 exams waiting to slaughter me. can die now.. *flies back to malaysia and jumps down from kl tower*

and the best part is, all the effing exams are really important exams, not the kind of test where we use to have during high school, these mother-eff-ers can actually shape your future. great! lets give a round of applause! -_____-

and yes, im currently preparing for my next bio-chem exam which is on monday. then wednesday having latin exam, thursday having anatomy exam (silent murderer), and last but not least, saturday is packed with general chemistry exam. fun right? eff u..

i am physically standing, but my semangat can barely stand straight. still trying REALLY hard to cope up with others, hope i can. *prays to God*

well, back to study. hope i don't get effed by exams.. chaozzz :)

Adam Lambert's

Time for Miracles

is on repeat mode,

in my laptop, my phone, my ears, my heart,

because i hope,

that my time,

will come soon.

-stillatstake-

complicated made simple :)

things has been really well lately. first of all, BIRTHDAYS! we just celebrated 3 peepoos's bday during this 2 weeks, one my roomate, next my friend, then last my roommies's friend. today alone we bashed 2 bdays at once, of course not as fun as what we did back at home, but who cares. by the way, the cakes here are just oh-so-delicious! ohhemmgeee! xD and so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY shoutouts to ahkaw, dhanraj and maribelle!

over bdays now, back to reality. just finished 3 exams, and lucikly i passed! wheeeee~ :D although i didnt really passed with flying colours, but i passed, so YAHOO! especially recently, i just had my very first anatomy exam, and it was oral exam + mcq questions. i effed the mcq, but the oral rocks! anyway i PASSED! hahahaha :D

winter break is just around the corner, and some people over here are going back to malaysia. they damn syok lor.. damn envy laaa~ :( the only time i know that im going back is next year, july! goshhhh T.T

just so u know, the only time for me to cure my home-sickness and missing-u-bastards-back-at-home-ness is here, yups blogging helps. the whole point of me blogging is to let U guys out there know whats rolling in muh life now. so when i know that ur actually reading whats for u intentionally, that means the world to me. although i will not know that ur reading, as long im still alive, this blog will.

first of all, guys :

kc,ck,kk,ysj,cwh,tjh,kxj,shah

next, gals :

yv,ww,xn,xl,gxy,hjw,wsm,pc

i miss u guys EVERY moment im here

only now, i know

how important your existence is,

to my life

i heart y'll..

-stillatstake-