fucked up

i dunno where to start, everything is sooo messed up in my mind now. but, one thing is for sure, i do miss home a lot, i mean seriously, i REEEEEAALLLYY miss home A LOT! i have never been soo damn homesick before.. ;( sometimes, i do feel like i dont belong here. everything here, everyone here, is not for me. i have been here for nearly a month now, and at some nights, i really feel like that i have made the wrong decision coming here. i even feel regret for being here, since im here, everything in me seems to fall apart. im actually trying hard to be the person that i used to be last time, my character, the liyu zin eu that he used to be, sometimes, i dun even recognise myself... and now, typing my heart out, in the middle of the night, how pathetic! i really need someone to talk to, someone that can relate to my situation, not just anybody... to all my dear peeps who are reading this (u know who u are), i just want u to know that i miss u guys EVERY SECOND. not just an ordinary 'i miss you', but sincerely from my heart, i really do miss u all. i missed everything u guys did together, i missed all the fun that i was supposed to be in. that feels like a stab in my stomach with a freaking knife. it hurts... badly.. and to that special someone who gave me the portrait of us, i love u so much for doing that and really appreciate what u did, thats like my medicine when im diagnosed with freaking-miss-you-guys syndrome. LOL ;D anyway, what the hell. im telling u, the only fucking reason im staying here is because of my dream, and if this shit place doesnt deliver that to me, im gonna freaking burn this university down man.. alright, thats everything that i need to say, feeling much better now... ;) p/s : i've never been blogging since like forever.. ;p -mission accomplised- [Lee YOu]